I told ya over the weekend that people have been asking for Elmer. What more appropriate day for his first guest column than Election Day 2014. Here he is, let me know what you think and I will let Elmer know.
I never thought in my final years I would be offered a guest column, to this Brian I am truly honored. Never in my born days did I ever think the people would take a shine to an old feller like me, to this I will accept the offer and submit a column with whatever seems to be a pressing issue upon my mind. I am going to call the column “The Blowtorch”, as this tends to depict my temper on most days when something disturbs me.
Has anyone voted yet? Good Gertie Mertie… that verbiage on the amendments had to be written by some nut with a Emory 5&10 Law Degree. Why can’t things be simple, a yes means yes and a no means no, after reading that jargon for fifteen minutes, my bowels were twisted for three days. Cliff Rogers help the old folks out, I know you can’t say much openly, but this is just twisted.
I will take a stand and say the following:
The government has healthcare for the seniors that says after the old farts reach the limit, let them die. The government can’t manage itself, keep them out of the healthcare decision making, no exceptions.
Quite frankly what the hell do we need a state income tax, give them some of the Butter and Eggs man’s parking lot waste water run-off money. Were are a nation of the free but everything has a damn tax upon it. There will soon be a piss-ometer in the public buildings, pay as you pee or sling it out the window. Would you have ever thought a parking lot tax ten years ago, mark my words the new toilets are coming. They will resemble the credit card swipe like the parking meters., I hope old people like me remember what to swipe and wipe, this could be one ugly mess, no pun intended.
And finally Wine in the grocery stores. Who gives a rats ass, other states have been doing it for years, we might as well do it too. Its easier to hide the bottle under a box of depends, than to park in front of a liquor store and advertise to the world that I am toting out a brown paper sack full of hooch. I think a glass of wine is healthy if not abused, and as long as old people on those damn grocery store electric carts don’t consume while driving thru the stores, pack the shelves and sell the stuff. Breath-a-lizer on the Wal-Mart electric carts are next folks… Mark my word, its coming to a store near you.
Remember get off your lazy ass and vote, the man upstairs knows we have some of the finest ass clowns on the ballot, weed them out and say to yourself, what the hell would Elmer say?
